no angst at all…

Alonella wrote a lovely journal entry about not enough angst; rather than clutter-up a thread in her journal, risk deletion, or draw certain flamage for reasons I shaln’t explain here, I’ll post my response in my forum with a warning (further down) to not read any further than necessary.

I did once consider setting up an account on this forum, as a sort of postmodernist statement upon the neuroses of others; unfortunately the account name I wanted (“Mu”) was already gone, which sort of hosed the whole concept behind it – a weblog where every single posting was a permutation of the work “Mu” – Um, Moo, Omm, Um, –/..-, Zh, and so forth.

Pity, really, I thought the concept would be rather cool, and the daily enforced minimalism would have been a real challenge.

That said, I have found this to be a terribly happy place, watching everybody working-out their angst, fears and frustrations. I haven’t worked out whether I feel happy reading this stuff because of schadenfreude, or if it’s a “reality soap-opera” kick, or if it’s just nice to see the universe tick along, being happy when people finally sort it out.

I still find LJ people – and people in general – to be very strange, and I find that this place moreover makes people happily adopt weird dual-standards – happy to flaunt their innermost thoughts and fears in public – enjoying the anonymity of the crowd – and then massively pruning their audience down to an exclusive group when they discover that people that they know – critical people, eg: me – are reading it.

People on my friends list, reading this, will probably assume they know of whom I am writing, but I see no point in naming names and dragging that particular decimated-into-nonexistence friendship into deeper realms of negativity; moreover, said person is not the only one who exhibits this behaviour, so one cannot be too critical.

Many people are deluded by the belief that the Internet allows them anonymity.

Were I to make crass analogies of this behaviour, and of how I see that sort of thing, it smacks of American couples I know who partake happily of wife-swapping parties and orgies when out of their home town, but when at home convey the very image of modesty and would be positively mortified if any of their neighbours found out about their darker side.

There’s nowt to be done about it, though. People are weird, angst ridden, and they seem to be a lot better having gotten stuff off their chest, whether or not they are achieving true anonymity.

If it works for them, so be it.

Of course, at a meta-level, this posting will get discussed by my friends and certain people will – all over again – accuse me of grandstanding, or wanting attention, or recommending amongst themselves ways that I can be educated out of my supposed antisocial behaviour, in having the gall to even mention my views or have an opinion on any topic.

So be it. My access to mind-bandwidth is cheap, and I watch people for interest and distraction, and if I choose to write up my thoughts, how is it any less valid than someone else writing up their thoughts about me?

At least I have the confidence to stand by my views, in public.

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